Posts (page 2)

So, again, I apologize for the delay in my post (hi Cheryl and Cara!!), but here it is.

I'm not sure that it's anybody's business how many children you do or do not have.  If you feel strongly that God has called you to a life of no medical birth control, then God has probably created you to have a lot of children.  If you feel strongly that you want to be married for a couple of years before you embark on parenthood, then be glad you live in the 21st century and birth control is safe, legal, affordable, and readily available-no stigma attached.  Where I run into an issue on the debate is when people who feel strongly one way or the other make others who don't share their opinion feel like they're wrong, or worse, out of God's will for their lives.

I remember in a sermon one time, Andy Stanley (pastor of my church) mentioned that if a pastor ever got up and said that he felt as though God had told him something that He wanted ME to do, to RUN and keep running away from that church.  Because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, I no longer have to depend on a middle man between me and God.  If God wants me to do something, He'll tell me himself.  God has not told me to have 18 children.  God, because he created me, knows that I am hanging on by a thread with the 2 he gave me.  There is no need to add to the chaos.  But does that mean the Duggars should have stopped at 2?  Absolutely not!  God told them something different.

I think if we all adopted this philosophy in a lot of areas, we'd be better off.  I'm especially thinking of the working inside the home vs. outside the home debate. Check out Best Mom tip #25 on I'm the best mom (link on the left) for a great sum up of how I feel about this!  Really, when you boil it all down, we're all doing the best we can with what we have and what we know.  Why do we have to put other people down to make us feel more confident in our decisions? Of course, we all think what we're doing is the right way (or else we wouldn't be doing it) but do we really have to get converts over to our side to justify our decisions?

I'll close the post with what my mom had to say about the subject.  "God's command to "be fruitful and multiply" was in the Old Testament-and that was just to re-populate the Earth after He'd wiped it out." 

So, be fruitful, or not.  Because of Jesus and birth control, the choice is yours. :)

I know, I made all these big plans about my year of productivity and blogging on Thursdays, but I really have a great excuse.
Since I've updated last I have had pink eye (in both eyes) and a viral sore throat (betcha didn't know that was a thing!) that lasted 7 days.  I actually was gargling with viscous lidocaine, it hurt so bad.
So I was busy catching up all the things I had to not do while I was sick, so blogging took a back seat.

I have not forgotten about our birth control debate and will get back to it on Thursday (promise!!), but wanted to plead my case in the meantime.

See you soon!

I have recently gotten into the show "17 Kids and Counting" on TLC.   Well, now it's "18 Kids and Counting" as the mom just had her 18th child.  Basically, it follows this family from Arkansas that does not believe in birth control and thus, has 18 children.  You'd think these people would be completely looney, but they're not.  They are very conservative-all the girls have long hair and don't wear pants, they are home schooled, and they watch very little TV and listen to almost no music (except hymns).  But, they are very loving, committed parents and their kids don't seem neglected or resentful.  They are better behaved than my kids and their house runs like a well-oiled machine.  If you are going to have 18 children, you need to do it like these people.
Their reason for no birth control is based on the belief that they will take however many children God chooses to bless them with.  When God closes Michelle's (the mom) womb, they will be done.  Until then, it's open season!  As a Christian, I completely respect their reason.  And they seem to have the finances (they are completely debt free-including their ginormous house) to support such a large family.  But my question is this: should all Christians follow this "God is in control of the size of my family" plan?
A couple of years ago, we had a guest speaker at our church.  He maintained that we should have as many children as possible in order to raise a large generation of Christians.  Apparently this is the plan in the Muslim community and in order to keep up, we need to start breeding.  He made some good points.  He did feel that you should be able to physically and financially be able to support the children, so it was ok to stop when you tapped out those resources.
My siser-in-law has a sweet friend who is following this plan.  They are expecting their 3rd child.  They have only been married around 4 years (basically got pregnant on their honeymoon).  The mom, of course, stays home.  The dad is not very well paid and they are on governmet assistance.  So are they right to continue to have more kids?  It seems like a bad plan to me to have baby after baby when dad barely makes enough to cover their mortgage.  Basically, we are paying for their decision as she and the children are on Medicaid and food stamps.  To say nothing about the quality of life issues.  But, I have met this woman, and she is not a crazy person.  She and her husband love the Lord and feel this is what He wants for their family.  But from the outside looking in, I just can't imagine the stress in their life.
Now, it seems, given our fertility issues, that I would be all about this plan.  From believing myself to be barren, to finding out I'm really quite fertile, you'd think I'd be more than willing to let God be in charge.  But here's the rub for me.  How does faith in the supremacy of God and knowledge of basic biology go together?  Obviously, when there was no birth control, everyone was on this plan.  But now that we have been given a small glimpse into how this whole thing works, are we right to control it? (I know we may be venturing into the whole cloning and genetic manipulation debate, but I'm strictly talking family planning here.) I have no doubt that if we came off birth control, I would become pregnant again.  But I've had two C-sections.  My doctor would grudgingly perform 1 more C-section on me and that's it.  He told me he only does 3 and after that, I'd have to find myself a new doctor.  I trust this man (who is a Christian) and I read between the lines at my 6 week post partum with Harper when he looked me in the eyes and said that we really needed to get on some birth control.  He thinks my womb should be closed for business.  Now, let's be clear, there is no doubt in my mind that God is bigger than the Mirena and if we are meant to have more children, we will.  But by using the Mirena, am I sinning?  Am I not trusting God? Am I not following God's will?
I know my answer to these questions, but what do you think?  Please post some comments and we'll discuss more next week.

Thirty minutes ago, I had HAD IT!!  I was storming down the stairs after all but throwing my kids into their PJ's and into bed.  My thought was "Am I really going to miss this"?  (There's a country song out right now that claims I will!)  Am I really going to miss being stared at in public because my daughter is screaming for all she's worth while my son runs around like an idiot in the store?  Am I going to miss cleaning up the crayons for the 10th time today and scrubbing marker (thank you Crayola for Washables) off the table and my daughter's hand?  This is HARD.  I am TIRED.  I want my husband to come HOME (he was in TX overnight for work).  I don't like being a mom, I'm not cut out for this, I haven't had a day off in 4 years, I'd like to take it all back.  I want to go out for dinner and a movie and not worry about how much the sitter is costing us.  I'd like to clean my house and have it stay that way for an entire hour. And the list goes on...
Then a little voice calls to me from the top of the stairs (over the melodious sounds of Harper screaming in her crib) "Mommy, I'm ready to go to bed.  Will you come upstairs and put the covers on me?"  I had told Garrett he could play in his room, but then he was to go to bed.  So I've had about 10 minutes to cool down and I think, let me go upstairs and get Harper, we'll read two books in Garrett's bed (as is our tradition) and I'll try to put her back down and get Garrett tucked in as well.  Deep breath, I'm going back in...
Get Harper who has the "snubs" (as we call it) she's been crying so hard.  Garrett picks out a book and we read it.  A jaunty little tale about two boys who find a fox in the woods, bring it home, give it water, mop it's fur to cool it down and let it sleep in a box.  It's later reunited in the forest with it's family.  Seriously...how do some books get published??  Apparently, this one is teaching Garrett phonics, but I'm worried about unrealistic animal expectations.  And then it's Harper's turn to pick out a book.  And what does she come back with??  My little tiny girl who today was doing a fine impression of a demonic possession comes back to me (tears still on her cheeks, mind you) with "I'll Love You Forever" !!!  Normally, I cannot read this book because I cry every time.  I think about telling her to pick another one, but Harper usually lets you read about 3 pages of the book before flipping to the end, so I figure I'll start it...no way I'll get to finish it...no worries about tears.  Plus, why would I cry?  I hate being a mom, right?
So I begin.  And don't you know that little minx sat through the entire thing without touching a page!  Of course, I'm crying so hard by the end I'm whispering the words.  Garrett is singing along with me asking me why the boy is so sad at the end.
All kidding aside, it's moments like those when I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that God exists.  He knew I was frazzled and at the end of my rope tonight.  He knew I shouldn't let my kids go to bed while I was still angry at them.  And He knew I needed that reminder that I was never promised these children and He freely gave them both to me; two beautiful, radiantly healthy kids. 
I still find it hard to believe that I will truly miss this, but I know that I will never regret this.

So every year I say I'm not going to make any resolutions because I'm not disciplined enough to keep them and then I just end up feeling worse about myself.  But, because I am a planner, and a new year is like a blank piece of paper just begging for a list, I always come up with something I try to stick to.  Plus, this year I have a little bit more confidence in myself.  Last year, I read through the entire New Testament!  I think the Bible I used is in the Books section of the blog.  It's a daily reading thing and I actually did it...for a whole year.  This year I'm tackling the Chronological Bible and so far, so good.  So hopefully, this time next year I'll be able to say I've read the entire Bible.  I must say that I am very proud of myself.  I NEVER stick to stuff like that.
So it's in that same vein that I have set up for myself a resolution for 2009.  This is the year where I will finally shed the term lazy as a description of myself.  2009 will be my year of productivity.  The biggest thing that this changes in my life is that I am no longer going to think about doing something for an hour when I could just do it and be done with it in 10 minutes.  Plus, I really don't have a choice.  It's either be productive or be run over by the chaos that threatens to consume my life.  Now that I'm working, I really have to be on the ball.  I am cleaning up as I go, having the kids be better about picking up after themselves and making myself a schedule at the beginning of every week of what I'm going to do in the evenings after the kids go to bed.
Part of this is now I'm going to try and blog every Thursday night (if not more).  I actually have a lot of things I'd like to discuss here and I just need to prioritize doing it.  In cleaning up my work laptop I came across an article I started writing and think I may share some of it with you to get some feedback.  Of course there are always my fascinating insights on motherhood, plus good old fashioned bragging about the brilliance of my children.  I'm not a journaler, but I find this blog to be very therapeutic for me, so I need to go with what works.
Now I'm a bit behind tonight because I didn't finish everything from last night, so my entry is short tonight.  I mostly just wanted the accountability.  Feel free to post hateful comments if you see nothing new next Friday!
But for now, I'm off to do a diaper cake for Candy's friend, Emily.  If you live near me and are interested in having me make one for you, please let me know.  I really enjoy making them!  Maybe next week I'll post some pictures of the ones I've done so far.

Sunday night we all had cabin fever, so we decided to take the kids to the Forum shops off exit 13 and walk around a bit.  Then, we ended up at Red Robin for dinner.  When we left the house we hadn't planned on eating out, so I wasn't prepared with cups and toys.  So dinner ended up being Jason walking around the restaurant with Harper while I ordered, waited for the food, and paid the bill.  It was yet another reminder why we are not at a stage of their lives where dinner at a restaurant with a waiter is a good idea.  Not to mention that Red Robin, while very good, is quite expensive (for what it is).
But what was most significant about that dinner was that while I was waiting at the table for the check (while Jason had the kids "playing" video games in the front of the restaurant) I was looking around.  Apparently, Red Robin is a good date place because there were a lot of young couples obviously on dates or double dates.  And for the first time I had the feeling that I wanted to be a young, dating couple again.  I am not one to wish I was back at an age; usually I am looking ahead and wishing I was there.  I had a thoroughly enjoyable childhood, high school was decent considering it was still high school, college was a blast, but I have always been so happy to be married and on my own.  So it was a strange feeling, but it was very wistful.  I think it's just a reaction to getting the minivan.
When we were driving home from getting the minivan, I asked Jason how he felt about owning and driving a minivan.  He said it was fine, but it was weird because it meant we were truly grown up now.  You don't get a minivan unless you have a family (usually) and now there was no denying it.  We are married parents in our thirties.  We rarely get carded anymore.  I am more and more getting used to being called "Mrs. Russell" and am most often identified as "Garrett's mommy".  We have conversations about the economy and our 401(K).  We are losing touch with popular culture, but are very well schooled in Disney Channel, Noggin, and Nick Jr.  I have conversations about very personal issues with women I have just met because we now all fall into the category of "women who have birthed a child" and that blurs the lines of personal space.
Now don't misunderstand me.  If you come and try to take my minivan, you will draw back a bloody stump.  I LOVE my van.  I LOVE my children and my husband.  We have a beautiful house in a great neighborhood, I love my job, we have fantastic friends. Our life is as close to perfect as I would want. But I found myself wishing, for just a minute, to go back to that time when it was all new and there was very little responsibility.  Just for a minute.

So I have two quick things to share with you about my children.  Wednesday night the whole family was loaded up in the minivan (glorious thing of beauty) and we were headed to a work Christmas party.  Remind me next year that taking my 2 children to a party in someone else's very nice house is not at all festive, but I digress...
Jason and I were talking about something terribly important and intelligent and he was frustrating me and I said "Jruss" in my exasperated mom voice and Garrett pipes up from the backseat with "Just hit him, Mom!"  I guess normally a "Jruss" uttered in that tone is followed by a little "love tap" to my husband and Garrett was waiting for it.  I think he just likes to see other people get in trouble, because it's usually him!  Too funny.  Who's raising that kid anyway??

twirling

Tonight Garrett had a birthday party to go to (quick aside: it's both weird and awesome that Garrett is old enough to be dropped off at a party!), so Harper and I had some quality girl time at our favorite hangout: SuperTarget.  As we were getting out of the car I was asking her if she was excited about our girl time and she nodded.  I put her on the ground and told her to hold my hand because we were in the parking lot and she did.  It was sticky (of course), but still so sweet to walk with her in to Target.  But there was this moment when she was holding my hand and we were walking and she looked up at me.  Nothing special, just a glance.  But it took my breath away.  I am so outrageously in love with that little girl.  I am so glad to be her mom.  She's my little tiny girl, who's quickly becoming not so tiny.  And watch out world because she's about to start talking.  She is trying so hard and I'm beginning to catch on to her Harperisms.  Heaven help us all when she can talk too.

After my sweet moment in the parking lot, we went on to a fairly typical wrestling match in the store about sitting in the cart, not sitting in the cart, holding my hand, being carried by me... She did, however guzzle half of a Starbucks caramel apple spice drink (that was a picture) and stop in the middle of a tantrum when I offered to go look at shoes (I'm not exaggerating).  She was about the ramp up from whiny to crying when I said "Want to go look at shoes?"  She stopped and nodded and got back in the cart.  What can I say, she loves her footwear!!!

You'll notice a new link on the left hand side of the page.  My friend, Sally, has started a blog called "I'm the Best Mom".  Check it out, tell your friends and make sure you post a comment or two.  Sally's daughter was born 4 weeks after Garrett and we experienced the newborn hell together, though admittedly, she had a rougher go of it.  Her tiny little 5 pound baby was no match for my 9 pound beast of a baby.  We were the first in our "group" to have kids and didn't have any really honest mothers in our life telling us how hellish it was going to be.  I remember sitting in her living room and her telling me she felt like she had been lied to.  This started our campaign to find out if we were the only ones, which led to the shock of finding out we most certainly were not the only ones and Hallmark had been lying to us all those years about what a blessed state motherhood was.  Then began the brutal truth campaign.  It led both of us to feel as though we needed to write a book to save other sweet innocent women out there who were having babies to get a minivan or decorate a nursery, only to find out that sweet, little tiny clothes got nothing on a full night's rest.  She's farther ahead in her book writing campaign and this is her first step.  Let's support her!

Since it has been right at a month since I last posted, I thought I'd update with random musings on a rainy Friday morning.  Is there a better time to blog??  Please note that I said random...think stream of consciousness.
1.  This may be a bit TMI, but oh well.  I am so grateful that we have lived in our fabulous new house for just shy of 3 months and we have yet had to use our plunger!  Our last house did not have the best water pressure and the plunger was our friend.  I certainly don't miss that.
2.  I am really impressed with Downy Wrinkle Releaser.  Few things actually do what they claim, but this product is really cool.  I'm not a huge fan of ironing, but I hate wearing wrinkled clothes and this makes it so I don't have to iron everything.  Love that.
3.  Garrett is really into superheroes these days.  Just for the record, he is Batman, Harper is Catwoman, Jason is Spiderman, and I am Mary Jane.  In fact, he rarely calls me "Mom" anymore-he says "Mary Jane Mom" when he addresses me!  Yesterday's quote "Mary Jane Mom, Catwoman is awake!"
4.  Harper has had a yellowy runny nose for the last two weeks.  No other symptoms, just a constant runny nose.  It's annoying.  Especially since her favorite method of wiping her nose is Jason or I's shirt.
5.  Can I get an amen for dishwashers with locks on the control panel?
6.  I got a hairdryer that mounts on the wall (kind of like a hotel, but better quality) and it rocks.  Our bathroom is a great size, but that small addition felt like it added a lot more space.  It's especially great since the suction hook I bought to hang my other hair dryer on kept falling (that's a great noise to hear when you're home alone!), so it was a welcome addition.
7.  Harper and Garrett have really turned a corner in the area of playing together.  It's still not as good as it's going to be (I think), but I can see the future.  My favorite is that he sits on the seat of his trike and she sits on the little platform behind his seat (just her size) and he rides her up and down the driveway.  It's adorable. 
8.  My little boy turns 4 in two weeks. FOUR!!!  No more baby, that's for sure.  I just can't believe that he's four.  How has it been that long?
9.  I've given up on Heroes.  Too crazy.  Still pleased with the Office (last night had several laugh out loud moments for me) and House is a new favorite.  Love Dancing with the Stars, but am ready fro Cloris to go home.  Warren Sapp has really surprised me. Too bad about Misty May.  Survivor is interesting-amazing how long that show has been on and the people who play it are surprised over twists in the game and being blind-sided.  I mean, did you watch the show?? Amazing Race is always a favorite, but I want to see a normal married couple make it.  I know that's not good TV, but I'm sick of all the weird married couples they dig up.  The runner guy is weird; "I need you to touch me"-that's creepy.  Still laugh out loud about Ty calling one of the frat guys "Superbad" in the first episode.  That was hilarious!
10. I paid our mortgage twice this month (obviously by mistake), but by the time I realized it, both payments had been sent to the company.  Had to wait like 5 days before we got the money back.  Not good times.  However, very pleased with our switch to Bank of America.  When I called about it, they actually called the mortgage company with me on the line and helped me get a refund.  I would lay money that Wachovia would have just told me to call the mortgage company.

Well that's 10 and I've neglected my family for too long.  Have a great weekend!