It's Not Pretty

Have you missed me?  To say that May has flown by in a whirlwind of activity is an understatement.  I am finally looking ahead to a week that is not jam packed with work events, home events, and Jason traveling and I have so much to catch up on!  So now my week will be jam packed with taking care of all the things I let slide while dealing with all the other things I have been dealing with.  Yippee!
The last 3 weeks have not been the greatest of my life.  They have certainly not been the worst, but when I am thinking back to May 2009, it's not going to be with pleasure.  And, no, it's not just because I'm turning 33 soon (the age that Jesus died!).  In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with turning one year older.
Around the last week of April, I woke up on Monday morning with a knot on the left side of my jaw.  It was sore.  I have had trouble with the salivary gland on my right side for years.  It gets clogged from time to time and swells and it uncomfortable for a day or two, no big deal.  This was odd in that it was on the left side and it felt a bit different.  Thinking it would go away in a day or two, I did nothing, said nothing to anyone.  Fast forward one week and it's still there-not at all painful, but very clearly a lump.  Called the doctor, got seen that afternoon.  Scariest appointment of my life.  Doctor looked up my nose, down my throat, in my ears, and then felt the lump, both from inside my mouth and outside.  Took a grand total of 45 seconds.  Pulls off his gloves and says "OK, we're going to send you for a CT scan"
Fast forward a couple of days, get the CT scan.  Not the best experience, but certainly not the worst.  It felt like I peed in my pants when the iodine contrast was inserted in my IV, but the nurse warned me about that and assured me that I hadn't.
Fast forward a couple more days and I go back to my doctor for the results.  He doesn't have the full report and is reading off a Post-It note the phone nurse had written on when the radiologist called.  I find this out after I have waited TWO HOURS in the waiting room while my husband and children sit in the car as we are on our way to Augusta for Jason's cousin's wedding. I have a tumor in my parotid gland (translation: salivary gland).  Now these things are almost always benign and even if mine's malignant, we've caught it very early and it can just be removed.  Then the doctor said two words you do not want to hear come out of his mouth when he's just said the word "tumor".  "But also" they found a "mass" in your thyroid.  That could be a couple of things, most are benign, but I'm now off to follow up with an ENT.
Did I mention the DRIVE conference is the next week?  Biggest event of the year at work.  4 days of practically living at the church.  Long days, on feet most of the time.
Last day of Drive meet with the ENT.  He recommends biopsies on both places and then we'll decide what we're going to do.  Really liked him and love his office staff.  I feel much better about the whole deal because even if it's the worst case scenario (cancer), the treatment is surgery, for both.  No chemo, no radiation, "just" surgery.
Had both biopsies this week.  Thyroid (which is in your throat) was on Monday.  Not bad.  Parotid was Thursday.  Had to be somewhat sedated for that one as you have to be really still and it hurts pretty bad.  I was semi-conscious, but I didn't care what was going on.  I can totally see why people get addicted to drugs.  It ain't a bad feeling.
Am still pretty sore.  Am not looking forward to recovering from that surgery, should it be necessary.  Also, it is considered major surgery as there is a facial nerve very close to the parotid that could get damaged in the surgery.  Good times.
I go for my follow up with the ENT, where I will get results this Friday, the 22nd.  It's going to be a long week.
I had a really good attitude the first couple of weeks.  I just kept thinking that I wasn't going to panic until I knew what I was dealing with.  Plus I had a ton of other things going on that kept my mind from dwelling on it too much.  I'm still not panicking.  I feel really confident with the care I'm receiving and feel like both things are in no way life-threatening, so I'm not super worried about the diagnosis.  However, the doctors appointments and tests are very wearing.  I feel very defeated right now.  I am overwhelmed.  I am also slightly optimistic that the nodule on my thyroid is behind my weight issue.  Then when I start thinking about that, I feel VERY defeated.  Then I feel silly that I'm worried about being overweight when I might have cancer, for heaven's sake.
Did I mention that Jason left for Poland Wednesday?  Luckily, my mom was here to help take care of the kids and me after the biopsy, but that was not my grand plan for her visit when we planned it, to say the least.
Anyway, I would appreciate your prayers.  I can honestly say that I'm not crazy stressed about this, but I'd be lying if I said I was fine.  What I'd really like is to go in there Friday and leave with a plan, not leave with more appointments and more tests.  I'm tired of being a pin cushion.