Funny Harper story

This story actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but it is too classic not to share here.  It does involve bodily functions, so maybe hold off reading if you're eating.  This definitely falls into the category of "things you NEVER thought were part of the Mom job description."
So it was a Saturday morning at the Russell house and we had a birthday party to go to around lunch.  Jason decided he and Garrett would go get the oil changed in the Pathfinder before it was time for us to leave.  Me and girly girl were going to stay and get pretty for the party.  So it's just me and Harper and she's just hanging with me in the bathroom rifling through drawers and trying to eat my makeup, as usual.  I happen to look over and notice she's getting the "face" that means #2 is imminent.  We have started to begin thinking about potty training, so I asked her if she wanted to poop on the potty and she said yes.  She's still in her PJ's and diaper from the night, so I just take all the bottom half off and get her on the toilet.  She pees and nothing else.  I have her sit there a second, but she keeps saying she's all done and starts to cry, so I get her off.  As I was in the middle of my makeup routine, I decide to leave her naked on the lower half, finish my makeup and then take her to get dressed.  She's standing on our scale because that gives her the two inches she needs to be able to see up onto our countertop and she starts to do this weird cry.  I look over and notice she's standing funny.  Then I look down.  She has peed on the scale and a little extra.  I see an enormous turd half on/half off the scale.  By the look on her face, I know she's not done, so I swoop down and grab her and head for the toilet.  What I didn't realize was turd #2 had already made it's appearance and when I grabbed her, it dropped to the floor (from a great height) AND I STEPPED IN IT.  With bare feet.  And I was still not to our toilet yet so I had to take a step with poop foot to get her on the pot.  Have I mentioned that we have a white tile bathroom floor?  You know what's hard to get of tile grout?  Poop that's been stepped on.
Now I am no stranger to bodily fluid grossness.  Garrett has thrown up over my shoulder, in my hair, and down my front under my shirt so it slid all warm and nasty down my stomach (and that was just Garrett).  I have caught throw up in my hand, had poop up under my fingernails, and been peed on more times than I can count.  I have changed an oozing poopy diaper on the tray table of the plane as it was landing, for goodness sakes. But somehow, stepping in someone else's poop with my bare feet was just so disgusting, I cannot even think about it without shivering.  Plus, it STUNK to high heaven and stepping in it just made it more angry.  Jason came home 20 minutes later when it had all been cleaned up, floor wiped down, and half a can of Oust sprayed, and he still stepped in the bathroom and asked "What is that smell??"
The one funny thing that happened was that after it was all cleaned and Harper was all dressed and pretty I watched her clean the bottom of her foot with a baby wipe saying "yucky, yucky" the whole time.  Want to know where she saw that?
No one EVER told me exactly how disgusting my life as a mother would be.  But even more surprising is that I have told that story to several people and have now typed it for all of you.  Not only did I step in poop, but I've told people about it. Never in a million years could I have seen that coming.